Welcome Friends! This is my first day of blogging my health journey, however, my story began on June 1st. (See more on my About Me page.) It just took me this long to decide to blog about it.
My name is Cynthia (my friends and family call me Cindy) and I look forward to sharing the road ahead with you. Here you’ll find the realness, and often rawness, of setting out to make Big Changes with Little Steps. Years ago, I successfully lost a lot weight, coming within 20 lbs. of my goal weight. I did it by focusing on little goals. Instead of looking at that gigantic number I needed to lose, I only looked at 5 lbs. at-a-time. That was seven years ago and I have since put all of that weight back on, plus some. I’ve struggled in finding my focus and motivation again, the way I once had it. I allowed myself to believe that it had just slipped away, but I know those are the lies I listen to when the battle just seems so difficult – and so far away.
But as I said, my journey began on June 1st, 2017 and I’ve been on a focused road to claiming my life – my healthy life, that is, once again. When I stepped on the scale that morning, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. “How did I get here?!” But I knew the answer to that. Somewhere I had just stopped caring for myself. I mean, I really like who I am. But, I can somehow look in a mirror and see something different from the reality. I somehow see myself much thinner than I really am, and then I walk past a mirror in a department store, or I see my reflection in a window and I’m dumbfounded, “Who the heck is that?!”
That first morning in June, I immediately logged into my old My Fitness Pal account and updated everything. Ouch! But, it began something else in me. I saw “Hope.” It was a beginning to the journey and I truly felt ready.
I used to walk five to six miles a day with a close friend. I don’t really know what happened, but we no longer walk together. She has found others to continue on her journey. I guess I just needed to walk another path for a while. My walking decreased to the point where it became non-existent. I no longer woke up feeling passionate about what I was doing. It felt depressing and like a big chore.
But earlier this month, a light began to flicker again and I began walking, just a little bit, each day. There are many people out there who love to walk in big groups. They say it makes the time go by so much faster and they love the accountability. While this is true, I am someone who likes to do a lot of things alone. I’m a deep thinker and when I’m alone, I can sort out my thoughts, my dreams, my struggles, my life. It’s free therapy for me. And I guess I’m not good in the accountability part of it all. I like being accountable to myself. I feel like when I’m in a group, comparisons begin to happen and this begins to feed my feelings of doubt and self-esteem. I hate competition in this area of my life. Plus, I’m someone who leans in the direction of introvert (probably why I love to write) and my time is a great treasure to me. I struggle with schedules and routines. I like my days to flow. I exercise in some fashion almost every day now, but it’s not always at the same time. I fit it into my life, and my life is often a moving target. Let’s just say, the wheels are always turning in my head, the dialogue is always in motion, and I beat myself up internally more than anyone even knows.
So as I began doing little walks again, my mind began to think about my super cute beach cruiser bike that was just collecting dust in the garage. Back in the day, I road a mountain bike and would even hit the trails with my husband. I have since gotten rid of that bike; trading it in for my cruiser. When my husband came home that night, I asked him if he would help me get it down from where it was hanging. We cleaned it off, he made sure the tires were full, and I was on my way. It has rekindled an old, but new, passion of mine. Taking my morning rides is the highlight of my day.
Since stepping on that scale, I’ve been diligent about visiting my Fitness Pal (Cynthia_Sunshine) account, logging my bike rides (and any other exercises I do), and inputting all that I eat and drink. This was key for me seven years ago, so I know it is key for me today. If I don’t write it down, I will lose track of what I put into my body.
I’m happy to say that the scale is already moving in my favor. In 23 days, I’ve had a couple of slip ups (and I’ll admit, they discouraged me) but, to date, I have lost 8 lbs. 🙂
Oh, dear friends, I have so much more to share with you…but for the sake of not writing a book right here, I’ll save it for tomorrow.
Thanks for reading. I wish you the very best on your own journey! Don’t listen to the negative talk going on inside of you. We can – and WILL – earn our champion belts as we take Little Steps to Big Changes!
2 thoughts on “The Journey Begins…”
Hi Cindy, I understand this journey well. After my cancer surgery, the oncologist kept onto me about eating. He said it wasn’t important what I ate, but that I ate. I began to gain weight and thought to myself, now he will be glad for me. He was at first and then one day he told me I weighed too much. Now I’m thinking to myself: Why didn’t he give me the limit he was looking for before I passed it by?
It wasn’t until I moved up here and my new oncologist referred me to a holistic Doctor. After much hard work and watching what I eat, I am close to my goal. I feel better and am much healthier. All with minimal medication.
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And you look great – and healthy! – Jan. Thanks for the encouragement and for sharing.