June 1, 2017: I stepped on the scale and was at my new all-time high. It’s hard to even put into words all of the emotions that ran through my mind and heart.
Discouragement…Disappointment…Disgust…to name a few. I mentally whimpered, “I hate this scale. Is there any possibility that it’s broken?!”
No. I knew it was working just fine.
Those numbers…they were like a left hook…and I was knocked out.
And then…that other voice crept its way into my head, telling me that this was useless and I am just meant to live out the rest of my days like this. It said, “What’s wrong with you? Stop fighting this. Throw in the towel. Live your life, enjoy all of your pleasures…stop torturing yourself. I mean, it isn’t working anyway.” And so I laid there, allowing all of the D’s above to torture me, for a moment…
You know those moments in boxing movies, where the star of the show is knocked to the floor and the whole room begins to blur in and out and then something snaps – a trigger is flipped…and they find a way to crawl up the ropes, back to their feet? Still staggering, but standing. Well, this was my moment.
I stood up, got back on that scale, and decided right then and there that this part of the journey was done. I threw the uppercut to that negative voice inside of me, and claimed my victory.
I know there will be more boxing matches along the journey ahead and I know I’m going to get a lot of cuts and bruises…and maybe a little knock down here and there…but I’m going to name this and claim this, and with a whole bunch of Little Steps I’m going to make some really Big Changes!
This blog is an accounting of my journey to losing 100 lbs. (that is not a typo) and living healthy beyond my goal. Here, I’m going to be sharing that journey with you; telling you more about my personal life, my struggles and the little changes I’m making. My hope is to encourage and be encouraged.
Thanks for walking alongside me.